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"The history of the world is but the biography of great men," said Thomas Carlyle. But here on the back page we are more of the 'cometh the hour, cometh the man' school of history. When something needs doing there is always some clown dim enough to do it. Osama bin Laden was that man. "Bleeding America to the point of bankruptcy" was what he was up to, he said in a videotape. "Every dollar spent by Al-Qaida in attacking the US has cost Washington $1m (£545,000) in economic fall-out and military spending," he said. "We, alongside the Mujahideen, bled Russia for ten years, [in Afghanistan] until it went bankrupt... So we are continuing this policy in bleeding America to the point of bankruptcy."
How many men can boast of Bin Laden's triumph? He brought down not just one empire, but two. His band of terrorists leached the Soviets so thoroughly, they fainted. It was no coincidence that the Soviets lost Afghanistan in the same year their empire disintegrated. Then the attack on the World Trade Center induced hysteria in America. The Feds flashed a Red Alert; Americans sealed their windows and doors against chemical attack. The September 11th attackers could have been pursued by the usual gendarmes – at negligible cost. Instead, the Bush administration went all out. Thus the greatest stimulus package since World War II began – in haste and in delusion. Is it any wonder it ended in disaster?
The Federal budget went from its biggest surpluses to its biggest deficits. Interest rates were cut to 1%. Within 24 months, the bubble in the Nasdaq was replaced by much bigger bubbles – in housing, finance, derivative debt, art, private equity, executive compensation, student loans and other forms of private debt. In effect, Bin Laden suckered the fattest man on earth into having another éclair. The thunder coming from the financial markets for the past 18 months is the noise of his midriff exploding.
But we are not writing to complain about Osama bin Laden or the Bush administration's reaction. When it comes to war and adultery, make-believe may be better than the real thing. Certainly, it is safer. In the War on Terror, the enemy had no tanks, no aircraft, no ships, no armies, no celebrated strategists, no military culture, no leather trench coats, no burnished helmets, no battle cries... The problem was, it was hard to find the enemy at all. The Department of Homeland Security conducted three billion airport inspections looking for them. We remember getting patted down so thoroughly we didn't know whether to leave a tip or lodge a complaint. But how many enemy combatants did they nab? Not one. There are two possibilities. The first is that the security procedures were so fearsome that terrorists dared not try anything funny. The second is that there weren't any terrorists.
Compare it to World War I or World War II. The War on Terror mobilised the whole nation in a Great National Cause, at much expense, much damage to the Constitution, and much inconvenience, but without actually causing much real suffering. Sure, a few hapless muslims, caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, were put on the rack by the CIA and the Pentagon. And yes, the cops in London gunned down a Brazilian electrician. And, no doubt, the expense contributed to the bankruptcy of the whole system of bubble finance. But compared to the pain of a shooting war, the War on Terror was a delight. As far as we know, the Department of Homeland Security suffered not a single casualty. Not even any self-inflicted wounds. No executions for treason. Hardly any reported cases of fleeing in the face of the enemy, nor collaborating, nor sabotage.
What a shame to let such a marvellous war end without even a victory parade. Some of the agents should at least get medals for courage under fire – or exceptional valour. Such as the special agents who arrested Tamera Jo Freeman. A 'Black Heart' medal might be appropriate. The woman was on a flight to Denver when her children got into a squabble. She spanked them both – and then got spanked herself, by Homeland Security. Charged with committing an "act of terrorism" she spent three months in jail and lost custody of her children.
There ought to be some medal for the Pentagon flatfoot who put the long arm of American law all the way across the Atlantic and onto the shoulder of Gary McKinnon. McKinnon, as the mayor of London informed us on Tuesday, believes in UFOs. To prove the US army is hiding information on aliens, he hacked into the Pentagon's computer, leaving his email address and a message: "Your security is crap." Rather than thank him for this useful observation, the Defense Department no doubt paid billions to a consulting firm to get the same information – and put out a warrant for McKinnon's arrest on a terrorism charge. That kind of service above and beyond the call of duty should be recognised.
So form up the battalions of veterans! Assemble the legions of luggage inspectors and metal detector operators and all the investigators, worn down by five years of following leads to nowhere! Dress them up in bright, clean uniforms and give them their moment of glory. Pin medals on their chests. Then have a jolly march down Fifth Avenue. Line the streets. Give them a hearty hoorah as they march by. Throw out the ticker tape. Young girls – fling yourselves at them and get a kiss! And then, send them home.
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Bill Bonner
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