Five lessons I learned from the volcano

By Dominic Frisby Apr 22, 2010

Dominic Frisby

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I was gazing by night at an erupting volcano in Central America last week when the news broke about Iceland's volcano. My first thought was that this was Iceland's payback. Ash for cash. Some bizarre spelling trick to inflate away their debt.

But I was feeling less inclined towards stupid jokes by the time I made my way home. We got caught in the fall-out.

I tried to observe events with my investor's hat on. Of course, there were no long-term investment possibilities to investigate here. This was a chance for the opportunists – and the car hire companies. But I did take a few lessons from the situation that might be worth remembering next time you're in a tight spot, be it travel or investment-related…

We were flying with Iberia from Central America to Madrid, then Madrid back to the UK. I'd like to say the Spanish airline was brilliant. But I can't.

We arrived in Madrid on Monday morning after a painless 11-hour flight. After getting our bags, we stood in a queue for three hours for Iberia customer services. When we finally reached the front, we were told we could not be booked on a flight home until Monday 27th - a week later. What were we supposed to do in the meantime? A shrug was Iberia's only answer.

I had my family with me. My children, thank goodness, were being as good as gold, but the idea of sleeping rough with them didn't bear thinking about. I asked about being put up in a hotel in the meantime. That just got me another shrug.

I've flown with numerous undesirable airlines over the years. One example was Air Sudan in 1989. Their entire fleet consisted of one aircraft. We were in Egypt, where 'the fleet' was supposed to be. 'The fleet' had just taken off in Asia and was headed for Europe. But at least Air Sudan was prepared to put us up in a hotel.

The scale of the problem was probably too big for Iberia to even begin to do that. But also, putting us up - either in Madrid or in Central America - would have meant upfront costs for them. They and other airlines have instead left passengers to front all costs. The arguments about who pays will come later - in fact, it's happening right now. It wouldn't surprise me if governments end up printing the money.

• Lesson number one: Don't trust big organisations when a panic is on. You'll be let down. Take responsibility for everything. I'm sure anyone who had money with AIG - or, even unknowingly, in US subprime debt - would say the same.

Uncertainty is a major problem for investors. It's very hard to make an informed decision when you are completely uninformed. So, while in the queue, I was talking to as many people as possible to try and get information. My mum and dad were also texting me snippets of news from the UK.

According to Mum, Gordon Brown was intending to make Madrid a 'hub'. 'One hundred coaches' had been laid on to take stranded passengers home. There were no coaches. Just thousands of tired, angry, hungry people looking for a way home.

• Lesson number two: Don't believe the government. Certainly don't rely on it.

I saw there were flights to Bilbao and Santander. But according to a text from my dad, the ferries from both were all booked up. Mum texted me. The Royal Navy was being sent to pick up passengers from Spanish ports. Those ports would be mobbed. We would have no chance of getting on.

I saw there was a flight leaving for Toulouse. I've never been to Toulouse, but I knew we had to get away from Madrid. There had to be a better chance of getting home from there.

Iberia couldn't put us on the afternoon flight, but there was another that evening and – amazingly – there were plenty of spaces. The Toulouse option didn't seem to have occurred to anyone else.
 
• Lesson number three: Don't follow the herd.

Then Dad texted me. The French railways were on strike.

We got a taxi to Madrid station in the hope of getting a train. But there was no space on a train to France for several days at least. The rental cars had all no availability either - one company quoted us €1,100 to rent a car to drop at Calais!

"There's an economic crisis in Spain," I thought. "There must be someone with a car who could do with a couple of days' work. If I could only find that person."

I went down to the taxis and asked a few of the drivers if perhaps they had any contacts who might be prepared to drive us to Calais (over 1,000 miles away). One offered to do it for a euro per kilometer. That wasn't unreasonable, but it would still have totaled over €1,500. That was the best price I could find, but it was €1,500 we would never be able to claim back.

The kids were now shattered. I'm a pretty imaginative bloke, but I was struggling to come up with ideas. My other half and I were starting to bicker. A fellow strandee overheard us. "Stop arguing," he said. "Go and find a hotel, have a shower, rest and clear your heads." He'd been there since Thursday.

We were about to do just that when it hit me again - we had to get out of Madrid. We had to get away from these hordes. Fortified with food we went back to the airport and took that last flight to Toulouse. Despite the strike, there was one train to Paris the following day – at 6.15 in the morning. We had a few hours sleep in a funny little hotel, got to Toulouse station at dawn, and booked ourselves a ticket from there to Paris, then on to Calais.

• Lesson number four: French trains are brilliant. Even when there's a strike.

Calais was mobbed but orderly. Unlike the zombies at Madrid, people now had some direction. They knew they were going to get home.

The ferries were charging as much for one foot passenger as it had cost me to book four and a car last year. At Dover some 'entrepreneurial' bus service was charging extortionate rates to get back to London.

But tired passengers were happy to be ripped off. There were huge queues for taxis to the station. We got lucky. I asked about and found a minicab driver who was based not far from me. His fare hadn't showed up. We agreed a fee and set off for South London.

Then as soon as we got the motorway out of Dover, we were diverted off it into a traffic jam, due to 'tunnel maintenance'. You couldn't make it up.

Some are now suggesting that perhaps this ban was needlessly excessive. People's safety must come first. But it's quite astonishing how much disruption and price distortion this intervention has created in the marketplace.

• Lesson number five: Those who would keep interest rates artificially low, beware.

Comments (7)

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  • 1. Karen

    (23 April 2010, 12:27PM)  Complain about this comment

    I am interested to find that you took the initiative to get your family home yourself. My husband and I were amazed that the reaction of so many people was to expect someone else to resolve the problem. It is a malaise in this country that people think the government should do everything for them. We have always believed we should be responsible for ourselves first and foremost and certainly always have a back plan!

  • 2. Michael

    (23 April 2010, 12:27PM)  Complain about this comment

    I would like to echo the comments of the reader above.

  • 3. Holden

    (23 April 2010, 01:55PM)  Complain about this comment

    I was also in Madrid and had similar experience from Iberia - although 6 hours to get my bag back (I arrived on the Saturday) then a 3 hour queue for a new flight which would have been today and we didn't bother with the queue for hotel voucher. Lesson Five - beware misinformation! I was informed the rail strike was not going to impact our journey and no-one seemed to be able to tell me otherwise. I can confirm that French trains are rubbish when on strike as we got part way to Paris then the overnight train was cancelled so, instead of sleeping on train in the station we took a taxi to paris (EUR1,000 for 4). I am going on a driving holiday next time!

  • 4. Nigel

    (23 April 2010, 03:04PM)  Complain about this comment

    I too was in Madrid Saturdaywith family : no flights northbound at that time, same queues, same reaction from Iberia, same story with non-existent buses. We did get overnight hotel at Iberia's expense, and decided Sunday to get out of Madrid. Took a train to Burgos (Santander/Bilbao/San Sebastian all full); hired a car there for €1,100 and drove to Caen in Normandy for the ferry to Portsmouth. Arrived home Tuesday. Now Iberia are going to get a claim from me, and I'm going to get my share of that newly printed government money (and then of course, pay it back in tax increases ...)

  • 5. Chris Roberts

    (24 April 2010, 01:44PM)  Complain about this comment

    Welcome back Dominic- have missed you comments on the price of Gold though i see it is rising now you are back

  • 6. Eyes Wide Shut

    (24 April 2010, 07:33PM)  Complain about this comment

    Governments worldwide choosing to ignore lesson 5 will force learning the other lessons a necessity for survival.

    'Sheep' will fall off the edge of the cliff - most fail to realise we are staring over the edge.

    Learn PDQ from Dominic’s lessons!

  • 7. Christine

    (18 May 2010, 01:15PM)  Complain about this comment

    You really write beautifully and clearly. I find that instinctively I think laterally when in any kind of emergency and perhaps you do too. When in trouble expecting any kind of help from any kind of official, especially airlines, is a useless waste of time.

    Well done for getting your family home.

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